and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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