it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
