Nicole vs. Life
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
