We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
