idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
