Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize