Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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