k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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