I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
