just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
