I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
