Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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