Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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