i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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