we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
