i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
