just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
