my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
