in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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