A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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