please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize