Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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