You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
