More tranny stories later!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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