She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
