Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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