You made me cry and you don't even care
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize