They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
