Screwed.edu
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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