we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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