It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
