Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
