You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
