sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
