I am puke
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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