i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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