In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
