We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
