pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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