i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
