I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
