I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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