I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
third nipple confirmed
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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