when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
