Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
