That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
