he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize