I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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