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• (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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• (817): View more from Texas

  she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't come back. They don't have pants.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Oh god.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God has nothing to do with this.

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• (415): View more from California

  So is he the one who got away?

  (619): View more from California

  They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.

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• (315): View more from New York

  you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck

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