Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
