Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize