I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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