Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
