we have pet lesbian snakes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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