well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
