Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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