i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
