don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
