we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I party with great urgency now.
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