i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
